Since Crystal posted her’s, and we bet dinner on it, here’s mine:

Arrrr Billy, here be me picks fer the Final four. Arrr Billy, its time to walk me plank!

Team Drake:

Rupert: Dread Pirate Rupert is key to their team, with brains and brawn. He’s needed. He fishes for hours and has brute strength. Besides, he’s comfortable in a dress.

Sandra: She’s one tough bitch. And she knows Spanish, which’ll help if/when they go back to town. She don’t take no shit from no one.

Team Morgan:

Andrew: He’s the team guy. He’s honestly trying to get them going as a tem. Course he’s an attorney, and should not be trusted.

Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Long Shot Alert!

Darrah: Well she made it this long without really being noticed, maybe she’ll make all the way to the final four.

Hold on to yer peg legs, its Ed’s vote for the final two, and the eventual winner of Survivor: Pearl Island.

Final two:

Rupert and Andrew.

Winner:

Rupert.

Crystal, I think I’d like to go to Ri-Ra for my dinner when I win. Thank you, please drive thru.