A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the
group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus
seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s
too cold. The accommodations are awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good
luck will be followin’ ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney
Stone,”the guide said. “Unfortunately, it’s being cleaned today
and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back
tomorrow.”

“We can’t be here tomorrow,” the nasty woman shouted. “We have
some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can’t kiss the
stupid stone.”

“Well now,” the guide said, “it is said that if you kiss someone
who has kissed the stone, you’ll have the same good fortune.”

“And I suppose you’ve kissed the stone?” the woman scoffed.

“No, ma’am,” the frustrated guide said, “but I’ve sat on it.”